Top Gear Australian auditions
22 Feb, 2008
87 Comments 
Top Gear Australia is reportedly having major issues finding presenters for the show. SBS yesterday admitted that it will take several more weeks than expected before the decision is made.
So we thought we would go and investigate just how bad some of the applicants really are.
Enjoy. But please, don’t blame us, we are just the messengers.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 11:29 am
I haven’t watched them all, but that first one is such a Clarkson wannabe - exactly what SBS said they DIDN’T want.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 11:37 am
warning! - do not watch - the pain is unbearable.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 11:46 am
SBS, stop while you are ahead. These are pathetic. No one can beat Clarkson and his team!!!
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February 22nd, 2008 at 11:56 am
Oh no.
The problem is clearly people who think they are in with a chance and are hence clogging up the audition process. I feel sorry for the staff member at SBS who has to sit through all of these.
Masynee is right, the first guy is trying to be someone he’s not (not to mention doing a review of quite possibly two of the most boring cars ever to go on sale in past decade, and both in white), the second guy is being himself (sorta) but doesn’t appear to know much at all about cars.
Damn this could turn out really bad if SBS caves and chooses someone like this in desperation
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February 22nd, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I didnt mind the last one.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Is the last one you, MY08 Sti? lol
Its a bad idea by sbs. Top Gear is an international show, They mention good and bad cars from the world over. There’s no need to do the same show with an Aussie accent attached. It can only be worse than the original.
As the classic saying goes, “If it aint broke…dont mess with it sbs!!!”
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February 22nd, 2008 at 1:27 pm
The answer is obvious, SBS is only accepting applications from people with clean driving records. Who is interested in cars enough to be worthy of an actual car show (instead of a half hour advertisement disguised as such), and doesn’t have a speeding ticket in his past?
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February 22nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I reckon the absolute WORSE job in Australia right now would be to sit through 10 mins x 4,000 applications of similar quality.
Lets hope a percentage of the 4K are worthy - as most have pointed out on many TOP GEAR forums around - trying to compete against THE most popular car show ever produced is dangerous.. Its almost guaranteed to fail some would say..
As a HUGE fan of the show, I am praying for some very creative producers to find something very unique and quintessential Australian to make this work.. I guess it would need to focus more on our local culture than cars themselves - as TG UK already covering international car releases… no need for reinventing the wheel…
I remain optimistic that TG Aust can work… I hope so - as if it doesnt, the UK boys will pay us out big time!!
Cheers
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February 22nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
The whole thing is being done by Freehand, so it’s some poor sod at Freehand going through the applications.
By the same token, I doubt anyone at SBS really knows what’s going on apart from the people so far up that the media comments are taken care of by others. I wonder what the source of those comments were.
Given some of the videos I’ve seen (who puts their audition tape on YouTube FFS?) I should have had a lash at it. I can’t have been any worse. Maybe they’ll have another go and ask around again.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
they need to be careful not to copy the UK top gear too much. For me i think SBS’s first port of call should be the journo’s working for the likes of Motor and Wheels, they have credibility behind them and they all seem to have a good way with words, particularly the likes of david morley. Just go through them and find the most photogenic one. Maybe also throw in a V8 driver such as skaife or lowndes for that jason plato from fifth gear like factor
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February 22nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
The thing is… Aussie TG can’t just have clones of Clarkson, Hamster, and Captain Slow. The hosts need to be unique, otherwise the show will flop.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Oh dear… just watched them. They all seem to be trying too hard.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I can do this job………….easy!
I want girls on tap, and beer and also a account [on-the-nod] with BobJane to pay for the worn tyres
God Bless!!!
Cheers
GORGY
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February 22nd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Aww yuck mate(first guy)! We don’t want to know about anyone’s testical stories! (cringe)
I haven’t seen the last yet, but I’m sure about the first 2.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I mean I’m not to sure if the first two are really suitible for the show
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February 22nd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I think a Idol style competition would be the way for it, Just get the boys from Top gear UK to be the judge, Screening process by car experts and journo’s at the start to eliminate jokers who do not know crap all so not to waste time.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
And oh.. if they need to choose a celebrity for one presenter PLEEEEASSSSEEEE NOOO Glenn Ridge
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February 22nd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I second that one Joober, he is the most wooden presenter I’ve ever come across. Watching him should be banned by the UN as torture.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I just finished watching the 3rd video, he’s not showing much potential with the way he thinks he knows so much about cars and can’t even find the bonnet lever or the dipstick and he never said about the poor safety of the dihatsu charde he roots
Just because he’s being funny doesn’t mean hes good for the show. Not only that him and his Chrade need to get a room
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February 22nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
joober Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
And oh.. if they need to choose a celebrity for one presenter PLEEEEASSSSEEEE NOOO Glenn Ridge
I agree, Glen Ridge needs to stay with his boring “The Car Show”
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February 22nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Alborz, Paul and Anthony. There, done. Make the shows now.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
^ is this their demo vids!
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February 22nd, 2008 at 4:17 pm
lol?
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February 22nd, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I cant see this show being anything but a disaster.
It’ll be sponsored by Holden & presented by some lame local celebrity.
There’ll probably be 5 minutes of the international stuff & the rest of the time will be spent fawning over the local taxi’s.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
o god they were terrible left testicl? come on u loser
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February 22nd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
^
Yeah, yuck. He really had to bring that one up didn’t he?
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February 22nd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
you have got to be kidding me. number 1 and 3 look like bloody nerds. and number 3 he just couldnt be a top gear presenter. if you choose presenters like these guys then really dont bother with the show.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Thats it!!!!!!…I cannot remain silent any longer folks,while i`m happy to see a tv show with an aussie take on an existing format,thats as far as it goes for ME personally!!!…I utterly abhore clarkson and his minions with their ramblings,it would be a real pity for the OZ top gear crew not to have free reign,thats assuming they have strict parameters in which to film….Unfortunately top gear UK,is loved by millions round the globe,and i`ll bet they dont want to mess with their recipe for success…but hey thats just my solitary opinion,which may not count for much…ciao…
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February 22nd, 2008 at 6:06 pm
LMAO
WTF IS THAT ???
THe First guy is f**n scary HAHAH
WTf is it with the testicle dats OFF
AND OMG THE ASIAN GUY… he thinks his funny LOLLLL
And then theres the full on aussie bloke like aussie as can be LOL.. funni
anyway… they need a wog, im serious, like one of the main actors from Fat Pizza lol
can you imagine the ratings ??? =O
Like wats his name … tahir bilgic, comedian actor guy his hectic LOL
anyway.. retarded people LOL
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February 22nd, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Aussie TG would be like the BBC doing the Memphis Trousers Show…doomed to failure.
I just hope you lot will carry on getting the BBC top gear after the Aussie one starts…. Pure entertainment and nothing more. For any critics if you want to find out about cars watch another show.
Just wait for the Autumn 2007 series to get to you down under..its ace.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 8:53 pm
OMG
They are all so bad, it’s spooky.
I predict a ratings disaster if the first episode ever gets made.
Now that we only have Holden and Falcon and Camry locally made, the first 10 minutes of material is covered.
After that it will be numnuts rooting worn out Daihatsus while looking for a new home……….
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February 22nd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
You know who I’d pick?
The Chaser team, or part of, or two or three people like them.
I would watch it for sure.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Jamie, i think your onto something.. i mean not the actual chaser team because their not car enthousiasts, but if you could get three motoring journo’s or enthousiasts who have the same kind of chemistry as the chaser boys then the whole aussie top gear concept MIGHT work….
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February 22nd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
“You know who I’d pick?”
“The Chaser team, or part of, or two or three people like them.”
“I would watch it for sure.”
Right On!!!
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February 22nd, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Australians are not funny.
All their humour is based around stereotypes that make simpletons laugh.
Chasers team are not car enthusiasts.
Whose Australia going to get?
Nudge from hey dad?
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:03 pm
I think Glen Ridge is fantastic. I’m sure people on this forum are just jealous. Elitist, there is no place for you on this forum with your anti aussie remarks. I loved Hey Dad and i still have most of them on VHS.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I was always a Tony Barber fan.
Larry Embdur was the only decent celeb to come out of Aus that was genuine in the last 2 decades…
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Elitist - You Australians have a great sense of humour, you love to take the piss out of people, least its better than the yanks only form of ’stand up comedy’.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Its obvious, they need to get motoring journous, maybe even some of the guys from here, you can’t just go from not being in the Car industry to being a topgear presenter. You really would have NFI!
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:23 pm
OK - Whats the concensus. Do you want an Aussie Top Gear Y or N.. Open to all
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 pm
OMG! To watch this is really a form a torture for car enthusiasts.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Elite mate, you are very un australian and i think you are not funny ronny johns hour is not funny,australians are different from state to state.Nsw people are nothing like Sa people,Qld people are different too and crazy from the hot weather.I think you should consider moving out of parramata, maybe back to your country.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 pm
nothing says “I dont know anything about cars” than getting in a 5 series and talking about an RX7/8, I mean seriously how f#$king stupid do you have to be! Trying to link in the cars u’ve owned to a 5 series, u compare that with the E class or A6 - not a jap sports car… WTF!
Jesus christ, that almost makes me angry, that would have been an instant delete by the top gear guys!
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February 22nd, 2008 at 10:52 pm
F..K ME they couldn’t have done a worse job if they did 200 takes.
Sorry but you lost me at Camry…….
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February 22nd, 2008 at 11:05 pm
I want jeremy to move here,he would fit in well in adelaide we need him here hes a legend and very funny guy.
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February 22nd, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Good luck to them. They’re going to need it.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 12:41 am
cl smooth i dont understand what you are trying to say?
The term UNAUSTRALIAN is offensive and rascist.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 am
Mate you are clearly not australian right?Your comments on australian people is not funny humour,noel is right there is no place for you on this forum with anti australian comments.And no im not a racist,but you dont like australian people remember? Thats offensive and rude and your comments are un australian thats not being racist.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 7:50 am
WHAT THE F**K….As soon as the twits started talking it was all over. And worse still when word Camry was mentioned.
The collective personality and style which these dropkicks tried to pull off the takes was so poor - if there brains were all added together to form a rubberband, you wouldnt have enough to fit around a canaries leg!
And I dont think the crew at CARADVICE could do heaps better or up near Clarkson and his gang as ALBORZ AND THE GANG whilst cool, could not have the pananche and flair of a pom! This show requires a certain witty panache and dry humour that only a few could replicate.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:16 am
The first guy remindes me of Mr Bean and is doing a terrible impersonation of Clarkson….. i was going to call him a wanker but once he said he has his balls in a jar i realised that would be like flogging a dead horse!!!!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 am
hahaha,NM thats what I thought!
I can Only imagine what the boys in the UK are going to think of it? Blank looks on their faces come to mind!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:21 am
BM….I accidentally sent you and email that shouldnt? Go check darling….am sorry as!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:23 am
The second guy is your tipical private school yobo…..more money than brains, He’s living proof brothers should not marry their sisters.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:26 am
hahaha Carl. Shes short ans stocky but shes strong!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:30 am
The third guy lost me with the colour of his tie but i had to switch off when he started forni*ating his Charade…so i can’t give him a full review.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:49 am
Thats soooo funny. didn’t watch them earlier as I was at work. Oh my God the third one shagged a daihatsu literally. Ha Ha sorry can’t stop laughing. You lot ain’t got a friggin chance…sorry ha ha ha
Oh streuth ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha even typed ‘friggin funny’ as the spam word.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:57 am
The third guy ….”where is the dip stick?”…..standing in front of the car!!!!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 9:35 am
Dump Aus Top Gear if this is the best we can come up with.
First guy - as boring as the camry he waffles on about. Not to mention the left nut thing.
Second guy - I got about halfway and hit stop. The word “bogan” keeps jumping to mind.
Third one - the men in white coats will find him soon and take him back to wherever he escaped from, so no point auditioning.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 am
Maybe they could get the cardboard cutout of Kevin Rudd to audition….he is bound to have much more personality and ticker then the real deal!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 am
hahaha…..hey you heard it was RDO yesterday.Rudds Day Off from Parliament.
Shhhh you will get us both in trouble babe
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February 23rd, 2008 at 10:44 am
Naughtyius Maximus! LOL I agree
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February 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 am
One of you boys at CA should apply!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Being from Melbourne I can say Australian humour is rubbish and has not produced any celebrities who came from a car journalist field like Clarkson.
Then again its Top Gears idea to do this and I think its a bad idea just like the American OFFICE.
Aussies just arent funny, their embarassing.
The only guys remotely into cars and are decent celebs are Mick Molloy (rotary enthusiast),
Larry Emdur ( saw him on a show talking bout Skylines) Trevor Marmelade..
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February 23rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
None the less I am still a fan.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Just get Clarkson, May and Hammond to come to Australia and do a 10 part series down here based on the world of cars as we see them.
Forget all this rubbish of interviewing a bunch of lamos.
Just pay up and get them here……
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February 23rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Elitist.
You are not well named, nor informed. How about I start with “Barry Humphries is from Melbourne”. There are many other I could name, but you seem determined to be an elitist, no matter how bad your spelling and grammar are.
To say “Australian Humour is Rubbish” is a nonsense of epic proportions. I’ll also let you in an a little not-so-epic proportions: They don’t want a celebrity to host this show. they want genuine, funny, car-centric people to host.
If we get the likes of David Morley, Dieter Kahsnitz and an unknown, then this show is on its way to finding its own feet. It may not happen, but to write an entire country off doesn’t make you elitist, it makes you look stupid. (oh and you meant to say “they’re embarrassing”, which I imagine is embarrassing to you, given your elitist name)
All of the TG UK hosts were virtual unknowns when they picked up the gig, so to say we need the likes of Mick Malloy et al is black flagging the show before they have even gridded up.
..and yes I did apply.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I didn’t think the first one was like clarkson at all, in fact I thought it was brilliant and that he could be a real contender to get the job.
Also, to anyone criticizing these people, take a good look back at yourself and what you could do.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 5:55 pm
The 1st one was crap (was that his real……….u know?)!
The 2nd one started off well then he was talking about burgers not cars then he just turned to dough! And i havent seen the last one but i will!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
3. I thought he knew everything about any car! And he cant even pop the hood! HA!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
The Windscreen wiper water, engine and i think this is that……………yeah you know alot about 1 blody car!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Wow. I have a fan club … of sorts.
I’m flattered that so many people have not only sat through this video, but have been motivated enough to pass comment on it. I’m also flattered that this video has made it onto this site – as a periodic lurker, it really was a bit of a shock to see myself and my erstwhile left testicle staring at me in this most unlikely of places.
Thanks for the good lovin’, and for those who believe that the video is overtly Clarksonesque, I’ll level with you … I was actually trying to be James May. But don’t tell anyone, it can be our delicious little secret.
All the best,
Tone (a.k.a. that monotesticular Astra victim)
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February 23rd, 2008 at 6:29 pm
.cmd
These people want a television job. They are going to cop criticism (maybe even praise) no matter what.
I sure wouldn’t apply because I’d be no better .ie. terrible. I know this, but these applicants apparently do not.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Euro wannabe crowd here. Esp bm, nm and a few others.
I’m sure there is some proper local talent, just a matter of finding it. Typical of you arrogant imbeciles to mock and ramble on about how it will fail, rather than support for an Aussie TG.
and wtf is with this babe babe shit bm? have you seen yourself in the mirror lately ? quit the whole omg im the only girl around here act you have going.
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February 23rd, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Noob by name and by nature.FYI Noob……nothing to do with me being female. Fact is we all chat off line as well so we all tend to have a little fun,something you should try doing,NOOB.
Euro wanna bes ,what does that mean? If you do a search on other SBS TG posts you will see we have already put out thoughts in who it should be in Australia ,BABE!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Noob Wannabe….Oh you should drop the ‘o’ from you nickname and call yourself NOB. Maybe get some other delicate tuggers of Toyota blood persuasion who go on with the same lack of sensibility - they say water finds its own level and thus you will find real common ground.
If you get your head out from the darkness its in….you will deal with reality and realise we have stated elsewhere who should do the show here. Obviously you must be a cardboard cutout like Kevin Rudd at parliament yesterday and not know past facts and just turn up and bash Missile!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Yep NM Im sort of getting used to it now,its a minority not a majority so water off a ducks back!
Thanks for your support though ,HONEY!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 8:36 pm
NOOB….dont attack women as they have a right to say whatever as its about equality 2008 style and not your way. So if you dont like the word BABE, or god knows what else rocks your delicate world word wise……..get over it, cause you complain of it like a git!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 9:54 pm
haha, I love how I can stir up people
you’re not still not getting any NM.. internet defender
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February 23rd, 2008 at 10:45 pm
NM is an internet defender and a good one too!
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February 23rd, 2008 at 11:20 pm
What are you 12 Noob…..
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February 23rd, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Must be….
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February 24th, 2008 at 12:51 am
you got me, 12 indeed
no you don’t get a prize
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February 24th, 2008 at 3:30 am
Noob - hack people off and suffer the retort mate. Don’t deliberately antagonise people. Its not what the CA site is about.
Stick to the content like you originally did with out attacks
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February 25th, 2008 at 6:36 am
I know these videos are basic and quite removed from what we have come to know and expect from TG UK, but they do convey a subtle message; we don’t want it ruined by a, b or c grade celebrities; a TG host must be a salt of the earth kind of person.
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February 25th, 2008 at 7:02 am
3rd one is among the better ones on the australian tg auditions searched on youtube. popping the hood and not finding the dip stick is part of his joke.
JC should interview him. see if he is the real deal.
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March 10th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I think the last guy is making a comedy out of how he’s not good for the show! But I must admit, his audition is pretty funny to watch.
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March 11th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Someone mentioned Peter Brock would have made a great host. I agree he would have been perfect, but what about his son James Brock? He’s been racing for over 10 years…
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