808910_4115_bmw_m3
Owner Review

2018 BMW M3 review... sorta...

- shares

EDITOR'S NOTE: We'd planned to skip this one, but given it's April 1 today... why not?


I’ll always remember this BMW Motorsport as my first European car. My first car was a Little Tikes Cozy Coup that Mummy and Daddy bought me when I was still crawling but I was just so embarrassed driving it through the inner suburbs with its lack of lights, its novelty character face and wide turning circle.

When Daddy went through his midlife crisis and went out and bought a BMW M3 one day I chucked the biggest tantrum the world has ever seen and demanded he trade in the Cozy Coupe on something with black rims and a badge!

Fortunately for me the tantrum worked (they always do!) and low and behold a brand new BMW M3 Baby Racer Motorsport arrived with same day delivery - apparently another baby had cancelled their order and the dealer arranged immediate delivery to me.

The vehicle delivered included the Motorsport Package with exclusive sports trims, lowered suspension and exclusive blacked out 5” super low profile rims.

Whilst I love the black rims, the ride is a little firm for my liking, even though the seat is quite comfortable particularly when I have a thicker cloth nappy on.

It didn’t take long at all to get accustomed to the lower ride profile and sportier drive and I’ll always remember this car as my first true European driving experience and how much better it is than that floaty American built Cozy Coupe poop ?

The fuel economy has been amazing - thanks to the all-wheel drive pedal power I’ve been getting zero litres per 100km.

But it’s the little luxuries which means once you go Euro you’ll never go back: like the full LED front and rear lights with auto off for when I run off to drink some milk and have a nap. And the keyless push button start - inserting that large novelty plastic key into the Cozy Coupe every time made me feel like I was 18 months old every time!

Whilst it’s been an enjoyable ride I recently saw baby Ryder over the back fence rolling around the block in his brand new Mercedes GLE SUV Baby Racer on 6” dubs so I threw the tanty to end all tanties and got Daddy to agree to trade in the M3 Baby Racer on a brand new MY21 BMW X7 Baby Racer with M Performance Pack and 7” blacked out rims because every baby deserves an SUV to battle the inner suburbs!

It was all going well until a hipster baby (Elvis) in the playground pointed out that my European BMW X7 is actually built in the USA!!! Like my old Cozy Coup!!!