Five ways to make your new car look ridiculous

To make it stand out, I put stickers on the rear windscreen, a row of gerbera's along the dash and hung a small disco ball from the rear-view mirror. I was 17 and it was the year 2000. The only excuse I have is that I was young, and it used to be cool.

The desire to personalise your new car by adding stickers, decals, new wheels etc is hard to fight. Manufacturers offer options, custom colour combinations and liveries for a reason - it looks far more sophisticated than a DIY makeover.

Everyone wants their machine to be unique and represent their own sense of flair - and some will do all of the things on this list regardless of what anyone thinks. Kudos to those brave souls. However, like socks and thongs, or jeans and joggers - there are some car-fashion faux pas we advise against and rather than embarrass real car owners, we've drawn these accessories on to photos we've taken of press cars.

Here are five ways to make your new car look ridiculous.

Eyelashes

If we were going to personify a car, then the analogy that headlights are the eyes of the vehicle would stand true. The nose is therefore the grille and the front bumper is the mouth. The different shapes and angles of these features all help to create the expression of the 'face' and the headlights are certainly the focal point as the 'eyes' contribute greatly to its character and expression.

As cute as fake eyelashes and diamante eyeliner sticker strips are, bear in mind it could end up a complete disaster. They could get bent, or collect leaves, bugs and road grime. Your car would just end up looking like a ‘real housewife’ halfway through the season. Why would you do that to your new pride and joy?

The only car that gets away with it is the Lamborghini Miura.

Frangipani stickers

Frangipani flowers smell divine, the scent can capture the imagination and whisk us away to a tropical island where we lay on a hammock sipping pina coladas without a care in the world.

Stuck all over the windows of your car however, frangipani stickers are more like a constant reminder that you're stuck driving to work, dropping the kids off, doing the groceries and NOT on holiday.

These were incredibly popular for quite a while - and even sparked the anti-frangipani sticker sticker movement. Some people are still picking sides in this battle... but they key here is to not over-do it. There's something to be said for tact, and besides, too many over the side windows can hamper your blind spot visibility.

Badge devil stickers

No.... just, no.

Unless you're 17 years-old and it's just a phase. In that case ensure the horns, tail and pitchfork can be removed without damaging the paint, when the moment passes.

Reindeer antlers

The Christmas spirit can quickly carry us away. Holidays, presents, celebrations, family time; it's all exciting.

Do what normal people do. Decorate your house with lights and creepy Santa statues, erect a nativity scene in your front yard then hand out candy canes to people who come to trample through your flower beds and take pictures for instagram.

If you have to put antlers on your car, enforce a time limit. Antlers are for Christmas. Just christmas. Say it with me - January is already too late. December use-by only. Same goes for wrapping tinsel around the bull bar. Kids love it but there’s a definite time-stamp.

Stick families

Ok, so you have a husband who plays golf or a wife who enjoys a coffee, a son who is into baseball, two more sons with whatever hobbies, a daughter who likes to bake, two dogs, a turtle and a rat that went to heaven.

Putting stick people and animals on your rear windscreen was a massive fad a few years ago and we’ve seen some that seem to be making fun of the fad itself.

It's occasionally amusing to see a woman stick figure with 17 cats lined up beside her, but then you wonder if it's true and start feeling sad for the poor stick woman thus ruining your morning commute and casting a depressing pall over the start of your day.

Save the oversharing for Facebook, not your rear window.

We have no power to enforce the removal of anything on this list and at the end of the day, it's your car and you can do what you want with it.

Which accessories do you think look ridiculous on cars? Let us know in the comments section below.